Monday, February 10, 2014

A Hell Of A Holiday: Flash Fiction for Love Bites


I wrote a piece of flash fiction for the Love Bites: Anti-Valenine Blog Hop. Find out more here.
You can read more Anti-Valentine gems here. Knowing the people who have been submitting to this I imagine you are in for a treat reading them. Unless you are really into romance and pretty little stories about love and puppies. Then you should probably go somewhere else. Sorry, I don't have a link for stories like that.
Valentines Day has never been my favorite holiday so this little exercise was fun. I hope you enjoy my foray into quick writing challenges.



A Hell Of A Holiday
By Theresa Miller 



Dearest Uncle Beelz,

I’m having a wonderful vacation here on earth. You were so right about the abundant opportunities for sport and amusement. Having a right jolly frolic manipulating these human creatures. 

One thing disturbs me. They call it Love. It motivates them in ways I can neither understand nor predict.  It tends to go around putting the old kibosh on my romps, and that irks me to no end. When I look it up it seems to be portrayed as something that comes along on sunny beaches or over candlelit dinners in expensive restaurants, so it should be easy to avoid. Instead, I find an infestation of the dratted stuff everywhere. It holds on in ghettos and battlefields. It pops up unexpectedly in the hearts of addicts and academics. 

You mentioned a holiday you distorted to keep this unseemly infestation in check. I don’t see how it could possibly do so, since the entire dratted thing seems to be about candlelit dinners at expensive restaurants, walks along sunny beaches and other such stomach churning nonsense.  

Despite the grim aspect of this holiday I am cheered somewhat by all the blood related décor. I can only assume that is your doing. It’s odd they don’t get the shape of the heart right, considering how advanced their ability is to look at the insides of intact bodies. Still the halls are bedecked with the color of fresh and frothing blood.

Your Nephew,
Eidolon
#

Dearest Uncle Beelz,

I apologize for my earlier doubt in your ability. One of my toughest cases got swept away by the romance of the holiday. He used all of his resources to buy a rock on a ring and a reservation at an expensive restaurant. I was sure he was well out of my meddling at that point. This is, after all, what love is all about.  As steeped in the dratted stuff as he was sure to become, he would be completely resistant to my machinations. I couldn’t bear to watch and I must admit I took myself off for a good sulk. 

The next day I checked in on him. Imagine my surprise when he was still in possession of the ring and, rather than being delirious with love, his mood was of the darkest nature. He was awash with shame and anger. Don’t you find shame to be the most delicious thing? I had a lovely feed then got to work. It was delightfully simple to give that anger the old twist-and-boost.  It grew until it wasn’t just the object of his desire he was angry with, but indeed, all women. Remember the love that made him so unpredictable and hard to manipulate? It had been mainly directed at his mother and sister; how utterly delightful that they just happen to be women. 

In those moments when he felt a softening of that anger and thought he might call one of them or go see them I could easily apply that lovely shame and he would stay away. Soon he was so full of misery and self-loathing I could get him to do just about anything I wanted him to. 

Oh what fun we had spreading that misery about. 

Oh dear Uncle, I must thank you for a most enjoyable vacation. You really have outdone yourself. Valentine’s Day is an absolute delight. I do believe I will vacation here every year starting with this day. 

Your Nephew,
Eidolon



4 comments:

  1. That old emotional manipulation called love and mischievous beings who want to thwart it! Thanks for joining in Theresa!

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  2. Love this, Theresa. Love as an infestation. Blood-related decor. Nicely done!

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  3. Like the manipulation of Valentine's misery; spot on about Valentine's if you ask me. Well done. xx

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  4. Thank you all for reading my story and replying. Also for saying kind things about it. :D

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